Friday, June 19, 2015

Rock That Body

As a tall and lean young woman I had the body that a lot of women strive for. But the grass isn't always greener on the other side. I actually wanted to be curvier because those were the women I thought were beautiful. While women worldwide were cutting bread out of their diets I was going to the kitchen any chance I got in between meals (and I ate plenty already) to stuff my face with bread. I guess I can be thankful for my great metabolism, because it didn't work. It probably wasn't until I stopped trying to gain weight, and my boyfriend at the time (current baby daddy and long term partner) and his mother would feed me chuletas, mofongo and all manner of fried foods non-stop that I started gaining weight. And then I got pregnant and gained more weight. I had wider hips, bigger breasts and I felt sexy! AFTER giving birth though, I had the soft jelly belly and stretch marks which I didn't love, but I didn't let that stop me from wearing my bikini to the beach.
8 months postpartum

It wasn't until after my second pregnancy that I was more self-conscious of my belly (and belly button). I had diastasis recti (see previous post) and my belly was more protuberant with looser wrinkly skin. I was mostly self conscious of my belly button and bought myself a high waist bikini to cover up all that jazz. It's been almost 3 years since the birth of my second son and it's been a year of consistent yoga practice. I've seen progress in my flexibility and strength and I look forward to the time I have carved out for it, whether it be 15 minutes one day or an hour another day. I have now started taking morning walks with intermittent running to prepare myself for a hypothetical future marathon. And while my belly isn't flat and I still have a bit of that gap, loose skin, stretch marks, and I struggle some days more than others to love it, I am proud of my body for going beyond what I thought it capable of. For that I am so incredibly grateful and I am excited to see what else it can do. It's been a process, but I'm still learning to stop comparing my body to its pre-pregnancy state.
I am participating in the #MySwimsuitStyle  challenge to promote self LOVE, not self loathing, with María José Ovalle of Very Busy Mamá and sponsor Miraclesuit. Yesterday I pulled out the kiddie pool for my boys and decided to try my old low-rise bikini bottom. I might have to buy a size bigger because my butt crack was showing, but I'm done hiding my belly!  Join us by posting your own swimsuit selfie and let's make a SPLASH this summer! You can post to your Instagram, Twitter, FB and make sure to use hashtag #MySwimsuitStyle. Let's enjoy our summer no matter what shape or size, and in whatever swimwear you feel comfortable!



Tuesday, June 16, 2015

Diastasis Recti & Other Fun Postpartum Goodies

June 2014 (why I didn't post this last year I do not know. I suppose I was waiting on something to finish it, but enough waiting):
After the birth of my second child I had a diastasis recti. I didn't know what it was at the time, but I distinctly remember trying to get up out of bed and seeing a fleshy bulge protruding from my abdomen between my belly button and sternum. I thought it was gross and weird, but figured it was normal for a postpartum body and that it would go away on its own as my body healed.

I lost the pregnancy weight pretty quickly (more quickly than with my first pregnancy) but didn't feel ready enough for any real exercise (other than dancing around my living room with my babies and doing kegels while washing dishes) until about a year postpartum. My mother gifted me a Mother's Day Groupon for one month of unlimited exercise classes. I went as often as I could before it expired and was feeling much tighter, more toned, and more energetic. I felt good.
But due to happenings and stress of life, buying a home (and all that entails), taking care of two young boys, work, etc. 6 months passed and I hadn't worked out at all in that time. I had been extremely stressed with house hunting and some financial troubles that I had palpitations, shortness of breath, felt my heart was going to stop while I slept, traveling pains, pinching and sharp pain sensations on my legs, arms, chest, etc. I honestly thought I was going to die. I was convinced I might have thrombosis and that a blood clot was going to travel to my heart and I'd die. The stress of not only finding a house and saving what little money we had, but now also worrying about my health, only made the symptoms more intense and more frequent. My fears were somewhat alleviated when I went to the doctor and all my blood work came back normal and I was told it was most likely stress related.
Once we FINALLY moved into our new home I was happy and relieved to be in our own home and most of the stress subsided and symptoms decreased. I went to the doctor again and they did more blood work to make sure I didn't have some autoimmune disease or lupus and was told I was "the picture of health". But I was still pretty sedentary and wanted to get back in shape. I was eager to lose my jelly belly and started doing my friend Kate Victoria's Yoga for Abs & Core Strength as well as sun salutations every morning. I was feeling really good and eager to add more to my routine, but when I enthusiastically posted a plank challenge to my Facebook page, a friend commented to make sure I didn't have diastasis recti, because if I did, plank was a no-no! "Damn-it!" I thought, "I DO have that!"
Finally I knew what that fleshy bulge was. I did the diastasis recti test and saw that it had closed some on its own but was still just over 2 fingers wide. Determined to lose the gap and get back to my ab workout I did the exercises in the above video (you can find plenty of diastasis recti exercise videos on YouTube). It has been 2 months of doing the exercises on a daily basis and I am now at 1 finger width at the belly button, the rest of the gap is even less. It is no longer technically considered a diastasis recti, but is still an abdominal split so I am careful to avoid certain yoga poses (mainly the deep back bends like camel pose) and am still weary of traditional ab exercises. I don't want to inadvertently undo the progress I have made, and have the muscles bulge out or, even worse, a hernia. I will continue to strengthen my core with the diastasis recti exercises and doing kegels to strengthen the pelvic floor.
When I asked Wendy Powell when would I be in the clear and could get back to my regular ab workout this was her reply: "It's not so much about getting an 'all clear' as having a core that is stable + can withstand the intra abdominal pressure when you exert yourself for any activity. Remember too that the stability / firmness of the mid line connective tissues is actually more important than the width of the gap" and sent me this helpful link: Mutusystem
I feel that my core is pretty strong and stable thanks to daily yoga, and Bikram hot yoga which I've been doing this past month (avoiding the back bends and not pushing myself too much on the twists) so I feel okay with slowly starting to do some of the traditional ab workouts. I look forward to seeing progress and will update here in the future. I hope this post will be helpful for anyone dealing with diastasis recti or who had it and wants to know "what now?" Please feel free to share your story or post your questions here.

Friday, June 12, 2015

Letter of Encouragement #1

My 5 year old son is seeing a behavioral therapist as per the indirect recommendation of his teacher (she recommended I speak with his pediatrician, who referred me to a child psychologist, who recommended the therapist). I will get into that in depth in another post at some point.
Anyway, the behavioral therapist lent me a book which was part of a course she took many years ago during her training: Active Parenting Handbook by Michael H. Popkin, Ph.D.. Today I came to a chapter discussing the power of encouragement and building on the child's strengths, and one of the "family enrichment activities" is to write a letter of encouragement to your child. I absolutely agree that putting something in writing carries extra weight and may be something he can keep with him and look at in the future if he needs a reminder of how wonderful he is.

This is my first letter of encouragement to him:

June 6, 2015
Dear Sebastian,
Yesterday when I took you to the playground I was so proud of you for standing up for that spider. You showed so much empathy and determination to do what you know is right. I just love how caring you are. I know it is frustrating when others don’t seem to listen or understand, and not everyone will, but when you speak what is right some people will listen and take your words to heart. When you walked away, that same boy who had kicked the spider decided to protect the spiders! I saw him play with another boy, placing sticks into the sand saying “okay, now we’re going to save the spiders”. Your actions made a difference, Sebas! Great job J

Mommy and Daddy love you so much

Mind you, at the park his behavior wasn't stellar. The reason behind his actions were just, but he screamed and cried bloody murder when the boy kicked the spider. He had a fit and yelled at the kid, wagging his finger at him "you have no right to kill spiders!" (which I'm quite proud of). At one point when another kid said he was going to kill spiders (to intentionally push my son's buttons), my son punched the kid in the stomach. I didn't see that happen, but as we were leaving the kids were yelling that Sebas had hit one of them, so I stopped and asked Sebas what happened. I asked if he had hit the boy and he said "YES! He said he was a spider killer". I told him that it's good he's trying to protect the spiders but it's not okay to hit, and I sent him to apologize to the kid who just kept running away with his group of friends, ignoring my son. So I called him back to me so we could leave. Hey, at least he tried to apologize. Since I had lectured him a bit about not hitting I didn't want that "bad behavior" to be the thing he remembered.

When he finished reading the letter his eyes lit up, "Thank you!" and he hugged me tightly around the neck. When I asked him what he wanted to do with the letter he said "let's hang it on my wall". 
I highly recommend you notice the good aspects of your child(ren)'s behavior and put it in writing. It will make their day, and their pride will make yours. I plan on writing many more of these and would love to read any letters of encouragement you have written or will write to your child(ren).
Sebastian, the Animal Activist