Mom, Ramon (that's my hubby) and my little-not-so-little brother headed to the hospital. When we got there it turned out they had to check my vital signs first so I was sent to the Triage where I had to lay in a hospital bed with electrodes strapped to my big belly. I was then taken to Radiology for the ultrasound. Amniotic fluid was fine, Sebastian was moving and kicking as usual...but lo and behold, when they checked my cervix I was 2 cm dilated! I was then taken to Triage for more vital signs monitoring.
The monitors were reading contractions that I did not feel. The nurse would ask in disbelief, "You're not feeling this? You're having a contraction right now!" Nope. I thought what I felt was just Sebastian moving around or maybe gas, but according to the monitors Sebastian wasn't moving at all. I informed the nurse that he was moving around just fine during the ultrasound and that I WAS STARVING! so perhaps he wasn't moving because I needed some food in me. She brought me some orange juice (which tasted nasty). I asked her if I could eat (Ramon had brought me some food from the cafeteria). Nope. "Not until your doctor sees you." Which took another two to three hours! and he was IN the building. Argh the torture. I truly regretted not having eaten lunch before heading to the hospital.
There was another pregnant lady in the Triage with me. Apparently her vitals weren't great. When the doctor finally came in he saw her first and decided she had to be induced. When he checked me he said, "Well, you're 2 centimeters dilated and you're having contractions and I'm already here, so let's get this over with." At which time I asked the nurse if I could finally eat...to this humble request she replied, " No honey, you're not going to be eating anything today." NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
I was induced at 5:30 pm at which time I texted my sister that I was in labor and to let everyone else know. My sister and friend Susy came to see me before contractions got too bad. My stepdad also came, but I asked him to stay outside during labor (no way we're THAT close).
Contractions weren't too bad at all for a while. I rated them at 1 at first, then 2, then 4, then 5...at 5 it was bearable but uncomfortable. I had gone in thinking I'd go the all natural route, and I told the nurse several times I didn't want the epidural. But in the end she told me "A lot of people wait until the last minute, but the anesthesiologist makes his rounds in the hospital. This ward is his next stop. If you don't order it now, you lose your chance for an epidural." So I ordered it.
I was already getting quite irritable at that point. My mom and hubby were rubbing and caressing me, trying to "be there" for me, but I just wanted them GONE. I didn't want anyone to touch me. I kept thinking, "get the [expletive] off of me", "don't [expletive] touch me", "leave me the [expletive] alone". I didn't say any of it out loud because I knew it was just the hormones, but man oh man, if I had waited until the pain reached a 10 that would've been a different story. Once I got the epidural I felt immediately better and was more appreciative that my family was there with me.
However, the epidural wasn't all rainbows and unicorn farts either. My legs went numb right away. My right leg was dead weight, so much so that I was extremely uncomfortable. AND the epidural (although I've read that it could've been the contractions) made me nauseous. All I wanted was to get some shut-eye, but because my leg was so heavy and uncomfortable and I kept puking, I couldn't get a wink of sleep.
When it was finally time to push, they put my feet in the stirrups and my right leg came crashing down. I couldn't keep my leg up! My hubby had to hold my leg in place and my mom held the other. Because I was SO NUMB, I couldn't even tell when I was having contractions, so the nurse had to look at the monitor and tell me when to push. But I really couldn't even tell if or how hard I was pushing and it was getting quite frustrating. They kept yelling "Harder, harder, more, bear down," but I'd run out of breath and have to wait for the next contraction. Sebastian's head was crowning but I couldn't push long or hard enough to push the whole head out. The doctor looked frankly worried, and I was afraid that if I couldn't give one long hard push that they'd have to resort to forceps.
I got nauseous and held my plastic baggie up to my face. As I heaved Sebastian popped out with a squirt of amniotic fluid, the doctor jumped back "Whoa!" (and caught the baby thankfully) as he was splashed with amniotic fluid and my mom shrieked, as I continued to puke while trying to catch a peripheral glimpse of my new born baby.
When they placed him on my chest I was still vomiting. I finished up and looked at his beautiful little face and touched his tiny shoulder. I was surprised by how beautiful and soft and clean he was. Not wrinkly and covered in white gunk like those babies I'd seen in those birthing videos I obsessively watched during my pregnancy. And I expected the amniotic fluid to smell bad, but it didn't at all. My hubby said he smelled like ice cream.
They took Sebastian to the side to finish cleaning him up. Ramon had tears in his eyes, he was so dumbstruck. He couldn't wipe that goofy look of awe from his face as he brought Sebastian to me with teary eyes. Sebastian was most definitely the most beautiful baby we'd ever seen.
I'll be brief because it was a long experience. I wasn't a dad until the moment she came out of the womb. Before that, it didn't register with me. I was very adamant about making sure her mom ate healthy while pregnant so I was somewhat parental. But not a dad until the moment she came out, I saw her face... she was blue-ish purple and I had a moment of panic. It was only a few seconds before she took her first breath but it felt like forever. She started crying and it was amazing to hear her for the first time... and I felt a rush of adrenaline throughout my entire body, as if some kind of "dad drug" had been injected into my bloodstream. I held her against my bare chest, as close to my heart as possible. Since she couldn't really meet me visually yet I thought it was best that we met energetically. I felt like a different person... I even think I looked like a different person in the mirror and was told I looked different by other people.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, that's it. Just don't listen to any kind of BS that the dad shouldn't be there for one reason or another. You need to be there for your child always, and being there for their birth is an excellent place to start.